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Tuesday, June 13, 2017

The Asshole of God


I went in search of the glory of the LORD. I went up the mountain to find the presence of the Creator of the Universe, the Father of Lights, the Holy and Eternal One. I climbed the hill, staggered up the steep and treacherous path. I sweated and I bled because I wanted to see my lord.

And there, at the top of that high, lonely mountain, sheltered in the cleft of a shattered, broken rock, I cried into to the cloudless sky: “If I have found favor with you, show me your presence. Let me see your glory.”

But I saw only God’s asshole, smug and superior in his suit, his hair and teeth gleaming in perfection. He farted in my face and told me that his words were pure, direct from God himself.

I suppose I should feel blessed.


(Exodus 33: 12 – 23)

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